


Elena's Diary

by Wendymypooh



Category: The Vampire Diaries
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-07-19 23:14:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7381411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wendymypooh/pseuds/Wendymypooh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Only her diary knows Elena Gilbert's innermost thoughts and feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Words in Elena's diary entries that are in bold, are taken directly from the episodes.

Elena’s Diary  
Entry 1

“Dear Diary,  
**Today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and I will be believable. I’ll smile and say, ‘I’m fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better.’ I’ll no longer be the sad little girl who lost her parents. I will start fresh. Be someone new. It’s the only way I’ll make it through. ******

This morning, on our way to school, Bonnie and I almost got into a car accident. A huge black bird flew straight into the windshield, startling us both. Bonnie reflexively slammed on the brakes. We skidded several feet, and I braced myself for the impending impact. 

My heart was beating so fast, I thought it was going to jump out of my chest. For one brief moment, I flashed back on the car accident which killed my parents. I wondered why I had survived one car crash, only to die in another.  
Guess I’ll never know. Bonnie managed to keep control of the her car, and brought it to an abrupt halt in the middle of the street. As I worked to calm my rapid heartbeat, Bonnie found her voice and profusely apologized for scaring the hell out of both of us. 

When I could talk, I told her I was okay. It’s not like she intentionally tried to make us wreck. Once we had both calmed down enough, Bonnie started the car in motion again, and fortunately the rest of our trip to school was uneventful. 

Oh, wait. I forgot to mention about Bonnie telling me she was psychic or a witch or something. At least, that’s what her grandmother told her. We both had a good laugh over it. 

It felt good, but weird, to be back at school. Most of the last semester was a blur due to the shock and grief of my parents’ deaths, and my body recovering from the injuries I had sustained in the accident. I felt eyes upon me as Bonnie and I walled from the student parking lot to the building, and pointedly ignored the stares. 

I had a brief moment of panic when we started down the crowded hallway to our locker. Bonnie, Caroline, and I had chosen lockers next to each other when we were all lowly freshmen, and I was grateful for the normalcy. We had barely reached them, when Caroline came rushing up to us. 

Caroline is lively and vivacious, and totally wrapped up in her own world. She welcomed me back at school with a glad cry and hug, before turning to Bonnie and inquiring how I was doing! As if I wasn’t even standing right there! It’s actions like this lately that has made me a little less willing to share my feelings with Caroline anymore. 

I was just opening my mouth to tell Caroline that if she wanted to know how I was feeling, that she could ask me, when Caroline saw another friend down the hall, and abruptly walked off. I watched her go, and then exchanged a knowing look with Bonnie. Besides Bonnie, Caroline is my closest friend. I love her, but sometimes I don’t understand how her mind works. 

Jeremy...I don’t know what I’m going to do about him. I gave him a pass on his recent extracurricular activities because honestly I wasn’t in any real shape to help him, but now that I’ve gotten my own self reasonably straightened out, now I’ve got to get him back on track. 

The drinking, smoking pot, and God knows what else he’d been doing, is going to stop! That’s not really him. I know he’s hurting, so am I, but mom and dad wouldn’t want him to destroy his life. They would want him to be happy, and I’m going to see to it that he is, even if I have to force it down his throat. 

Matt. I know he’s hurt and confused that I ended our relationship. I’m sorry that I hurt him, and wish I hadn’t, but staying in a relationship with him was wrong. I still love him, I probably always will, but I’m not IN LOVE with him. I don’t think I ever really was. I value our friendship too much to pretend to feel something different for him, than I do. I hope that in time, he’ll forgive me. There’s nothing more I’d like than for us to remain friends. 

Stefan Salvatore. Bonnie was right when she said he was smoking hot. Alright, she actually said his backside was; I say all of him. He’s the whole yummy package. He has these amazing forest green eyes and handsome features. His gorgeous gelled dark brown hair looked so soft, I had to fight the impulse to run my fingers through it. 

That would have been totally embarrassing. Okay, that should be MORE embarrassing, considering I met him coming out of the men’s bathroom. If that wasn’t bad enough, I ran into him again at the cemetery. I’ve been going there a few times a week to visit my parents’ graves. I talk to them or simply write in my journal. It makes me feel close to them, and one of the few places I can actually be alone with my thoughts. 

Stefan must think I’m a total weirdo. I mean, the men’s restroom and a cemetery is not exactly on the list of places to meet up with hot guys. Geez, I can’t imagine what he must think of me! He probably thinks I’m a pathetic loser. 

Bet he steers clear of me from here on out, but I hope not. There’s something about his quiet demeanor that makes me want to get to know him better. Yes, he’s hot, and I am definitely attracted to him, but it’s more than physical attraction. I sense a hidden sadness and longing in him that makes me want to comfort him. I feel drawn to him in a way I’ve never felt drawn to another boy, including Matt. 

For the first time in a long while, I’m actually looking forward, instead of wallowing in the past. I actually want to go to school and face the hazards of high school education, because I know Stefan will be there. I want to see him again. I HAVE TO see him again.


	2. Chapter 2

Elena’s Diary-  
Entry #2

“Dear Diary, 

Stefan Salvatore. He is unlike any other guy I have ever met. He seems older, wiser than the rest of us. He’s quiet, observant. He doesn’t talk just to hear himself. When he does, his words are measured. Thoughtful. I’m intrigued. 

Last night, at the back to school party in the woods, Stefan and I went for a walk. I told him about my parents dying and how it changed the way I saw the world. 

Stefan didn’t tell me he was sorry about my parents dying. Instead he told me I wouldn’t always be sad. His words made me feel understood. He made me feel as if it was okay to just be me. That I didn’t have to pretend with him. 

No one has made me feel like that before. Not even Bonnie. She tries, but I know there are times when even she loses patience with me lately. 

Later on, after the whole freakish Vicki Donovan getting attacked by a wild animal occurred, Stefan came by my house to see if I was okay. I thought it was sweet of him to be worried about me. I invited him in for coffee and we talked late into the night. It was one of the best nights I’ve had in a very long time.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Dear Diary, 

This morning feels….different. There’s a change. I can sense it, feel it. For once, I don’t regret the day before it begins. I will see Him again. The first time, in a long while, I feel good. 

I rode to school again with Bonnie. She told me that she had babysat Caroline for most of the night. Caroline was drunk and it took several cups of strong coffee to sober her up enough to go home. 

Sheriff Forbes had been called into work by the time Bonnie dropped Caroline at her house. Lucky for Caroline. Bonnie on the other hand, barely made it home in time to keep her curfew. 

Typical Caroline. Not caring whether anyone else got in trouble because of something she did. Can’t recall how many times I got grounded over something that wasn’t even my fault all because Caroline thought it was fun to do. 

Okay, okay, I can’t blame everything on Caroline. Some of t hose times I even helped Caroline plan the pranks and other things that led to us getting into trouble. 

Anyways, we arrived at school without any incident. Bonnie went to talk to one of our other classmates, and I looked around for Stefan. I didn’t expect him to be in a crowd with other kids. He didn’t strike me as someone who needed to be around others all the time. 

I found him sitting on of the picnic tables out front of the school. As I started across the lawn toward him, Matt Donovan stopped me. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night. Maybe he hadn’t. The attack on Vicki was really freaky. I couldn’t imagine how I would feel if something like that happened to Jeremy. 

I shook my head to clear the troubling thought away, and asked Matt how his sister was doing. Matt told me that Vicki was doing okay, but had told him the craziest thing. Vicki thought a vampire had attacked her instead of a wild animal.

A vampire? Really? I don’t know if it’s all those horror movies she loved making her think that or the heavy duty painkillers they have her on. Something must have shown on my face, because Matt grinned at me, and said he thought Vicki’s story was pretty nuts too. 

He saw Tyler Lockwood arrive and went to talk to him. I started back on my path toward Stefan, only to realize he was no longer at the picnic table. Disappointment flooded through me. I would just have to wait to see him in one of the classes we shared.


End file.
